It has been a while since I wrote something in this forum and I decided to give it a go now. Life has been good and the talks about marriage have been blown across my ears. When I was growing up I always had this fascination for marriages. I always believed that getting married will bring in a sense of Joy and fulfillment along with a lot of other things. Slowly but surely I started maturing with time and started understanding things in life better and clearer. People from my part of India get married after getting a job and getting a feel of responsibility. And then there are the exceptions too.
I have been raised in a modest background with a not so flashy flamboyant lifestyle. Though my parents have raised me by giving an air of freedom, I was always told/taught various different facets of responsibility as a brother/son and a human. So I always wanted to get married after my sister ties the knot or rather gets it tied. I never really thought that to get someone married is this tough. When you feel that things will fall in place in time and you see a lot of proposals coming in, you feel that the process will take its own course and will eventually materialise. But then I must admit the sense of panic and insecurity that comes when you go search for a groom outdoors.
I registered my sister's profile in a matrimonial site and saw a whole of lot of good proposals flooding my inbox. But now that I have to act like a responsible brother and not a typical 22yr old go-gaga with life person, I zeroed in on a few profiles after seeing attibutes like job, salary, family background etc. I must admit that I rejected a few profiles looking at the profile pictures itself. Not to mean that the guys were not looking good but the photos when casual and sort of not so very matrimonial like did not feel right. After all it is a one time affair. So you can tread ever so slowly but should not slip once you have set your foot on the ice.
The character of the guy is one of the most important attributes and I do not believe in digesting what they have put in the site for their sons or brothers or themselves. This is how it works as per me. You see the profile, run through their information and shortlist a few. Then these prospects need to be checked for astrological stuff and if it suits then you shall run a back ground check on the guy. This back ground check phase is the most important phase in the entire process. Everybody who is 27-29 will have the brain cells smart enough to act good during the interaction time atleast. So you run the check with a few friends, acquaintances, relatives, family friends, neighbours and strangers too. This is very tricky. You sometimes will have to be so smart and extract just the right amount of data and leave.
From a guy's perspective this process is the most irritating process that you will be a part of unknowingly. No one in the world would like to be frisked and enquired. I am no different too. But as a family member and a brother of a girl I can surely understand the gravity of this process as this is a very very crucial process. Marriage is no joke and it is better to take things so very seriously than casually.
I saw a tamil reality show of late and the topic revolved around this background verification for marriages. Lot of guys and girls were furious about it. According to me it is no wrong because it is very difficult to see your loved one treated not all that well after marriage. A few argued saying that this is very much alike an interview process which in a way it is but then this does not have a remuneration but a whole life.
I know this is a very dry area to write home about but then the context of why I wanted to write this article is that we live in a world which is not so very safe. You read all shameful things across the dailys. So it does not harm you if you are conventional and if you realise those who critisize you are not the ones who will share/take your sufferings. The bottomline is to have a harmonious and symbiotic life with your loved ones. Beware, even roses have thorns which prick.
I have been raised in a modest background with a not so flashy flamboyant lifestyle. Though my parents have raised me by giving an air of freedom, I was always told/taught various different facets of responsibility as a brother/son and a human. So I always wanted to get married after my sister ties the knot or rather gets it tied. I never really thought that to get someone married is this tough. When you feel that things will fall in place in time and you see a lot of proposals coming in, you feel that the process will take its own course and will eventually materialise. But then I must admit the sense of panic and insecurity that comes when you go search for a groom outdoors.
I registered my sister's profile in a matrimonial site and saw a whole of lot of good proposals flooding my inbox. But now that I have to act like a responsible brother and not a typical 22yr old go-gaga with life person, I zeroed in on a few profiles after seeing attibutes like job, salary, family background etc. I must admit that I rejected a few profiles looking at the profile pictures itself. Not to mean that the guys were not looking good but the photos when casual and sort of not so very matrimonial like did not feel right. After all it is a one time affair. So you can tread ever so slowly but should not slip once you have set your foot on the ice.
The character of the guy is one of the most important attributes and I do not believe in digesting what they have put in the site for their sons or brothers or themselves. This is how it works as per me. You see the profile, run through their information and shortlist a few. Then these prospects need to be checked for astrological stuff and if it suits then you shall run a back ground check on the guy. This back ground check phase is the most important phase in the entire process. Everybody who is 27-29 will have the brain cells smart enough to act good during the interaction time atleast. So you run the check with a few friends, acquaintances, relatives, family friends, neighbours and strangers too. This is very tricky. You sometimes will have to be so smart and extract just the right amount of data and leave.
From a guy's perspective this process is the most irritating process that you will be a part of unknowingly. No one in the world would like to be frisked and enquired. I am no different too. But as a family member and a brother of a girl I can surely understand the gravity of this process as this is a very very crucial process. Marriage is no joke and it is better to take things so very seriously than casually.
I saw a tamil reality show of late and the topic revolved around this background verification for marriages. Lot of guys and girls were furious about it. According to me it is no wrong because it is very difficult to see your loved one treated not all that well after marriage. A few argued saying that this is very much alike an interview process which in a way it is but then this does not have a remuneration but a whole life.
I know this is a very dry area to write home about but then the context of why I wanted to write this article is that we live in a world which is not so very safe. You read all shameful things across the dailys. So it does not harm you if you are conventional and if you realise those who critisize you are not the ones who will share/take your sufferings. The bottomline is to have a harmonious and symbiotic life with your loved ones. Beware, even roses have thorns which prick.
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